How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
