i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize