You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
