i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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