I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
