i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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