Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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