If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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