roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.