He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
