I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
