the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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