i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
