I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
