Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
