I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
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