she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
