just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
