He kissed a someone with a penis
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
