So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
