why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize