So drunk its hurt
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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