I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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