Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
