I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
