Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
