piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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