I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
