i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
