I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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