I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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