Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Houston, we have a squirter
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
