Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize