did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
