Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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