he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
