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He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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