one might say we're banned from that church
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
