I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
