You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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