biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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