He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
