You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
