Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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