Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize