he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
high people should be assigned attendants
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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