My sheets look like a crime scene.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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