I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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