I just saw a hot homeless man
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Someone signed my nipple.
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