i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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