i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
