sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
