Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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