Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
