Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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