big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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