You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
