i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
