Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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