I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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