A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
