NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
