Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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