Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
