just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
