the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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